When You Don’t Share a Last Name…

Monday, September 12, 2016

  1. You get back to the hotel after your wedding and they say, “Ah! Mr. & Mrs. Drake!” You laugh it off and say, “Thank you, but no, I didn’t change my last name,” and then get a card 10 minutes later sent up to your room with complimentary champagne that says, “Congrats, Mr. & Mrs. Drake!”
  2. The woman at your honeymoon resort’s front desk says, “You didn’t change your name?! That’s the whole point of getting married!”
  3. You have to creatively add another monogram to wine glasses you got as a wedding present.
  4. Decor around your house mostly just includes the initials of your first names.
  5. Calling utility companies require an awkward dance of making the customer service representatives go back to another screen and change your husband’s last name because they automatically filled it in as the same as yours.
  6. You had a little trouble depositing checks from your wedding because they were made out to a person who doesn’t exist.
  7. You contemplate adding your husband’s last name so you can write letters of recommendation for your brother without it looking like nepotism.
  8. When filling out volunteer forms online, you have to explicitly state “George Drake Jr. is my husband” so you’ll get placed together.
  9. You use a lot of ampersands as decoration because they don’t judge you.
  10. The woman at the DMV tells you you’re awesome for keeping your last name because it’s super cool and you agree with her.

I wrote about my decision to keep my last name in this post, and two months into being married, some strange things have happened that I definitely didn’t predict. Even though I sometimes get frustrated, I hope that I’ve dealt with all of the weird situations with grace and understanding and started some valuable conversations.

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5 thoughts on “When You Don’t Share a Last Name…

  1. Way to go Ruth Reveal! It’s tricky going against the norm, culture, and such. On those utility statements, bet George’s name is listed first…
    Love, Nancy

  2. I love your discussions, I thought about that issue many years ago. I went with changing my name. A few years ago, celebrating our 30th anniversary, I realized my current last name, I have had longer than my birth name. It all worked out with me. I love reading your thought process. Love Sonia

  3. I love your blog and love that you kept your name. My daughter hyphenated her daughters last name giving her both her name and her dads name,alot of different comments came from that mostly positive some not so much,as they found out in doing that it made her last name legally one name which i personally thought was kinda cool. So im all for it!

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